Fourth Match

[Allura Desmonds]

Fourth Match
BAMF Championship
Johnny Reb vs Cletus the Bum

RP Limit: 2 Per Person

Deadline: 08/31/19 at 11:59 pm eastern time

Grace Period: 09/02/19 at 11:59 pm eastern time

Good Luck

[thenewcsa]

*The camera falls on a close up of the BAMF title belt with the nameplate reading "Johnny Reb". Slowly the camera pans up and back revealing Johnny Reb smiling smugly as he loops his thumbs around the belt. He wears his oakley glasses, sun shining in it's reflection. The T-shirt he wears bares the words "The South has risen again" with the Confederate flag emblazoned in the letters. The large confederate officers hat setting proud atop his head as he leans back and forth on his heels. Spurs digging into the old wooden porch as he stands outside a gas station done to look like a southern barn. He stands for a few moments just basking in his smugness before finally speaking directly to the camera.*

J.R.: I believe it was the great Jeff Foxworthy that said it best. 'If someone asks to see your I.D. and you show them your belt buckle...'

*Johnny just looks down at the belt he's proudly wearing and the camera pans down again going into a close up of t only to slowly rise back up to Johnny Reb who breathes a deep breath raising his head to the air to bask in the moment only to drop his head back and stare into the camera.*

J.R.: 'You might be a redneck' and this ol' redneck is now the Baddest Mamajama in the whole of the N... C... dubya!

*He pauses again basking one more moment as he begins to step off the porch and into the gravel around the parking lot walking steadily forward as the camera backs up to keep him in the shot.*

J.R.: That's right, boys. Good ol' Johnny Reb is a bone-e-fide champion. And don't it feel good to say that? First off I'd like to thank my good buddy, Ex, you know I couldn't have done it without ya, pal. Secondly, I'd like to thank Necra for lettin' him off his leash to help out, you go spooky! But finally, third I'd like to thank all the people out there that believed in me. All my little rebel hellions that time and again cheer me on to greatness. you know it ain't just Beer and Moon Pies that keep this ol' redneck's engine runnin' t's all of you flyin' a flag that might offend some of yer more sensitive neighbors, but I digress. Cause it's time for Johnny Reb to face the true test of a champion stayin' on top. Which is why I need a rebel yell from all my sons and daughters of the south! Cause ol' Johnny Reb is facin' one helluvan opponent this week! A true dynamo of the ring! CLETUS THE BUM!

*He says it aloud raising his hands to the sky in dramatic fashion. As he does the camera cuts to a full body shot only to show a tumbleweed blow through silently as crickets begin to chirp. Johnny drops his hands and looks around as if waiting for some sort of applause or approval from someone*

J.R.: What?! WHAT?! He is a legitimate contender! Hell any man I ever met with the name Cletus has got to be the toughest sonuvabitch I ever met. No! NO! It's true! I swear it! Why men named Cletus have helped me become the man I am literally all my life. I mean my Uncle Cletus taught me about Politics and the world! The First man I ever went huntin' with was named Cletus! Hell, five guys in my class in school was named Cletus and we were all friends! Cletus is a proud name to have! Just take the origins of that name you got clete which is a spikey shoe and tush which is Hebrew for ass. Clearly the name means "He who kicks your ass with spikey shoes" it's grade school!

*He looks behind the camera to the person who's holding it.*

J.R.: Don't laugh! That's very unprofessional! What's wrong with you?! I'm tryin' to be serious here!

*He looks back into the camera taking off his glasses staring at the camera as if pleading.*

J.R.: Seriously. This is a serious match! Ya just got to believe me! It's no joke.! What's wrong with you people?! I'm not sure I can win. I mean so what if he's barely won a match. It's whats in your heart. Don't you believe em Cletus! I swear your going to give me what for ain't ya? I'm not gonna stomp your nuts in! So, what if ya break in weak wind. I know you can do it! I believe in Cletus!

*Johnny grabs the camera as loud laughter is heard off camera. Johnny looks away from the camera off to the side shaking his head only to laugh even as he yells at the unseen figure*

J.R.: Hey! Stop it! Get up! Why you rollin' on the ground laughin'?! Your being so goddang disrespectful!

*Johnny finally just bursts out laughing falling to his butt as he holds the camera up to his face and looks into it with a joyful grin on his mug.*

J.R.: I'm sorry, Cletus. I tried. I really tried. But you and I both know I'm gonna kick yer ass. It ain't gonna be close. Sorry, Cletus, but it's time for me to kick the bum right in the bum. So, let's just enjoy the moment and appreciate the fact you'll just be one small step to a great southern victory!

*He looks up and just smiles.*

J.R.: Alright! Alright! Get up! They get it! Let's go get an RC and a NeHi!

*Johnny hoots as he looks down at the camera curiously holding up a finger for a moment.*

J.R.: Now, how the hell do you turn this fuckin' thang off? Oh wait I think i got it!

*His finger comes down and it immediately cuts as the scene fades to black.*

[Thund3rEnigma]

Cletus smiles as The cameras pan over Johnny Rebs promo.





Cletus The Bum

You bet your ass I am the real deal Johnny piece of shit always waiting til the last minute to show yourself what gives you afraid you gonna lose are you one of those that have to wait to respond  to a post like a couple bitches who just left because they thought they were belter than everyone else.  Watch what you do in the end it will cost you dearly. I am going to get great pleasure and slapping you around like you do in the shower with your pecker after thinking about Jessie Reb your imaginary wife.



Time has come for me to finally get my first leginimate win and it will come in the form of Johnny Reb.



I will slap you around like the southern little bitch you are.  See you in the ring punk



Cletus chugs down some moonshine and passes out as the cameras fade to black.